“Cómo duele gastar” Spending for self care is hard
Have you ever been a spot where you have adult money but you can’t spend it on yourself cause self care was not taught to you in this way, yet ironically consumerist culture is so prevalent that getting things was seen as a luxury yet positioned as a need? Were you taught that you shouldn’t spend money on yourself unless you have extra money or knew that you were able to eat or asked of your family had everything they needed first? Are these questions to long to understand? To answer the last one, yes lol.
Let me share with you the experience that I have in social mobility, that I hesitate, nay always over think before buying something that is for me and only me to enjoy. I have been thinking about this and while I am not a true minimalist via aesthetic, I have adopted some minimalist tendencies, I don’t buy clothing that isn’t needed anymore, if I want to buy something I’ll wait two weeks and write a pro and con list on why I want it. Also I try to find cheaper alternatives and weigh the cost in the long run to my finances. Oh and I make sure to seek out other voices to either get confirmation that it is a good idea, or be reminded of my ways that I grew up. But what I am trying to get it as that when a person grows up poorer or low socio-economic status; basically, my siblings and I shared a room in apartments our whole life until I left for college, and sometimes my mom would have to decide which bill to pay and which not to; that is what I mean by that. It pains me to spend money that is for me to enjoy.
When I was younger my mom once asked me to pay for something that I wanted because i had the money saved up from my birthday and Christmas. None of that allowance shit that other kids had, you did chores cause you existed, and si no? La faja or el gancho (that one hurt the most). When I did spend those meager 30 dollars (back then that was like a lot to me I think I was 12). She saw my face that was confused with excitement for that game but also kind of sad because money was hard to come by and adults talked about it all the time; and she said to me clearly “Verda que duele.” What she meant by that was ‘see it hurts to let go of your money,’ but that feeling stayed with me what hurt was that I was spending money on something that was just for me and not for the family or the house.
So yeah excuse the fuck me when I am take all those steps before making a big purchase that is not required for school, for the home, for the family. I have to laugh at this but I also need to talk about the fucked up way that our society has used consumerism to keep people at the bottom of the pyramid.
This latter part will be short; but because of this consumerist society it doesn’t make sense on how the wealth gap and “middle class” are so distant and even more so from those that are lower-SES. A person that is making minimum wage working full time (40 hours a week) cannot make enough money to support themselves, especially in CA. Don’t even get get me started on employer tied health care. Like who TF came up with that idea that in order to have health care employers need to pay for it, but WE need to pay our employer to give it to us; actually its because of WWII, because businesses needed to compete with benefits to gain employees, according to a 2017 NY times article.
When looking at median household income data for the past 50 years those that have made below 100,000 a year have minimally increased their income compared to the top 5% of people that make over 150,000; and yet everything such as housing, renting, goods, and food, have gone up without precedent. Basically the rich are getting richer the middle class is not going up with inflation, and the poor are getting poorer or staying the same (*cough* ahem, which is poor). That doesn’t make any sense, the prices of produce, gas, electricity, ready to make or ready made food, have gone up. So yeah, this consumerism society that says you just need to work harder, I call BS.
1. Carroll, A. (2017, September 05). The Real Reason the U.S. Has Employer-Sponsored Health Insurance. Retrieved October 05, 2020, from https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/05/upshot/the-real-reason-the-us-has-employer-sponsored-health-insurance.html
2. Frazee, G. (2018, September 12). 3 charts that explain the rise in U.S. household income. Retrieved October 05, 2020, from https://www.pbs.org/newshour/economy/making-sense/3-charts-that-explain-the-rise-in-u-s-household-income
3. Juliana Menasce Horowitz, R. (2020, August 17). Trends in U.S. income and wealth inequality. Retrieved October 05, 2020, from https://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2020/01/09/trends-in-income-and-wealth-inequality/
4. Mislinski, J. (2020, September 17). Updated: U.S. Household Incomes - A 50+ Year Perspective. Retrieved October 05, 2020, from https://www.advisorperspectives.com/dshort/updates/2020/09/17/updated-u-s-household-incomes-a-50-year-perspective
