Emotion: Fear

As a person who has always struggled with anxiety, I have come to understand that it can be its own thing and often what gets overlooked is what it is protecting and covering. Anxiety often eclipses many emotions, but for me, it is often fear that it is covering. And let me tell you, I despise it! I have worked on appreciating it, but my brain can't seem to distinguish when I am in danger or not.

Fear is a powerful emotion, one that can hold us back from our true potential. It is scary to navigate life, even in the safest of circumstances. Our survival brain can't always tell the difference between a low bank account and a lion chasing us. It can be overwhelming, but it is important to recognize the lessons that fear has taught us. I often ask myself, "What has fear taught me?" in order to acknowledge its existence. Another question I ask myself is, "What has fear held me back from?" Finally, I ask myself, "How do I know what fear is like in my body and what to do with it?"

Fear has taught me that I am human, that I am not invincible. It can be a liar, masquerading as protection and love, when in reality, it is just fear. Fear is fear, and it needs to be acknowledged as such.

Understanding the difference between a life and death situation and one that just requires caution can be difficult. Emotions can't always distinguish between the two. I am currently going through some transitions in my life, and I have to remind myself that it's not a life and death situation. Fear of living and trying in this adult world comes from upbringing of scarcity, not having a lot in the beginning. My childhood experiences, how and where I was raised, and my parents' divorce all contributed to this fear. I am afraid that I will fail and not survive, but there is no failing at life, only trying and trying.

When fear shows up in my body, it usually starts off as anxiety, fueled by catastrophic thoughts of uncertainty and death. Physiologically, it can manifest as a craving for sweet or comfort foods, actual stomach pains, jaw clenching, and intrusive thoughts. But I have come to realize that I can still have fear and live life. Fear just means that I care enough to take things slow and pivot when necessary.