Mental health routine spring to summer - 2021

whoa, who is this, is this still a thing, its been a minute since I posted. And I wanted to update my blog with routine in what has been helping me get through this, so a more positive skill check post. But rather a blog post of productivity, because I have not been, this what I have been doing in order to help with my mental health. I have been doing what is called morning pages. Morning pages is actually something that is done to help with the creative process, it is a way to get the clutter out of your mind so that you are able to focus on creativity. That is how is as reading about, but I think I am doing a similar version but it is not for a creative process.

Morning pages for me is something akin to journaling with stream of consciousness rather than a subject or a review for the day. A blog post for example would be more like a journal post compared to “morning pages.” When I do Morning pages it’s as soon as I get up, or shortly after I grasp my iPad, or I go to my desk and I just type whatever is flooding my brain and I am getting it down on my notion section. This stream of conciseness writting is not something that I going back to correct I am not making sure that words are spelled correctly, I am not making sure that it makes sense; the thoughts are sporadic and at times not even connected, it is honest, raw and at times scary, it holds my fears as soon as I wake up with then, my anxiety that is in my head and that has lingered, its not a plan for the day; it literally is a dumping place for my thoughts, anxieties, questions, fears, sometimes hope although not the point of it. The purpose of this type of morning pages is to help mimimize my intrusive anxious thoughts for the day, they get the center stage in the morning, and they take a back seat during the day. and I have been doing this for 30 days now. I actually have found it to be very helpful, does it make my anxiety go away completely, no, but for it to be helping during the pandemic, must mean there is something to it.

In addition to that I have continued my meditative practices, I usually will meditate right after I do my morning pages. I am sure that meditation is a factor, I also think it is a package deal for me right now. I write my morning pages, and then I meditate. My mediation however will have a purpose it is to calm my thoughts and just watch them go by. I have also been meditating around the idea of age and material things and that I am just a visitor in this physical realm. Where I am meditating over the feeling/understanding/philosophy that consciousness is just energy and that my body, however real and physical, and mine that it is; is really only a vessel of my consciousness and energy. This gets a little “ohhwoo” but has been helpful for me as I am getting older and as I am hyper vigilant about changes. This is a my body, and my body will have pain and also have joy, and both are temporary. Honestly this is so difficult for me to come to terms with and accept, so this is a practice I am wanting to keep at. I think the philosophy would argue (if i am externalizing it here) I really am not getting the point if I am trying to accept this as it brings suffering. However that is for another post.

In my 30 days, and counting of my morning pages process I have also included other ways of keeping with checking in. I have found a Notion template that allows me to also track some habits and I will use a paper journal to write at times. There is something about writing things down and never looking at them that feels good. there is also some “poetry?” on my blog write now, it is on my meditation section where this will go. It honestly is so bad but it is connecting me to when I was a teenager and would write like that, with my angst and emotions. I have been learning that we may loose that way of expression that we had when were younger and I think it would be fun to be able to reconnect with that.

Wow this post was way longer than I intended it to be. Take care.